dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
