I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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