i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
