Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
