:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
