terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
