I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize