just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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