never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
