Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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