is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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