Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
