Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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