Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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