i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
