you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
