great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
