Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
