Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
