Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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