Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I need to sanitize my soul.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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