who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
