My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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