I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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