I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
