Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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