is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
