xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
