Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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