it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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