youre lurking in front of me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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