I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
