i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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