I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
