i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
