I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
