i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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