when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
