If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
