I'm jealous of your bromance
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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