made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
