And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
