he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
