The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
