yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Randomize
