Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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