Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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