I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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