Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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