Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
