How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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