if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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