Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
