Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
